When Bitcoin (CRYPTO: BTC) hit the panic tape, Jim Cramer hit the TV. That’s the problem.
On Friday, Bitcoin slid to $60,000 — down 52% from its October peak with more than $1.2 trillion in value wiped out. Within hours, Cramer went on CNBC and urged viewers to “cover,” claiming — without evidence — that Washington was about to “fill the Bitcoin Reserve” at that level.
To George Noble, former aide to Peter Lynch, that wasn’t analysis. It was theater.
What Cramer Said Vs. What’s Real
Cramer offered no source, no document, no data — just “I heard.” Noble countered with facts.
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent testified on Feb. 5 that the U.S. government has no legal authority to buy Bitcoin with taxpayer money. The March 2025 executive order creating a reserve allows it to hold only seized crypto from criminal cases, not new purchases.
Blockchain analytics firm Arkham shows U.S. wallets haven’t moved in over a month — still sitting on 328,000 BTC.
In other words: zero on-chain buying, zero official confirmation, zero legal pathway.
A Track Record That Invites Skepticism
Noble reminded markets why Cramer’s calls deserve scrutiny: he called Bear Stearns “fine” days before its collapse and labeled Silicon Valley Bank “compelling” weeks before its failure.
His picks were so unreliable that Wall Street literally built an ETF to bet against him, argues Noble. A Wharton study found his returns lagged the S&P by three points a year for nearly two decades.
Bitcoin Vs. Gold — The Stress Test
While Bitcoin cratered, gold surged to $5,020 an ounce — up roughly 60% from the same highs. China’s central bank has been a steady buyer for 15 straight months.
Meanwhile, MicroStrategy Inc‘s (NASDAQ:MSTR) bet on Bitcoin is sitting on about $6.5 billion in unrealized losses. The “digital gold” has so far traded like a leveraged tech stock.
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